Most of us are not mind readers. You need to communicate your thoughts, your wishes and your dreams. You also need to listen to your partner’s response or lack of responses. Communication is a two way street. Remember that you are always communicating something. You are always on stage. Be sure you are communicating the message you really want to send. If you are unclear or evasive we will supply the missing information and it most likely will not be accurate. There is never a vacuum of information. People cannot tolerate not knowing; therefore, they make up what they do not know. If there is something that I should know, you tell me. Be mindful of your body language. Everything about you enhances or distorts your message. Body language is anything other than your actual words.
Posts Tagged Listen
Find a quiet spot where you can be alone. Clear you mind and mediate for a few minutes. It will refresh you. Repeat often. All of us need to spend quiet time alone. There is no formula that works for everyone. Each of us must map out what works best for us. It is a personal matter. The only mistake is to think that we do not need it. We can get along without it, but our lives are richer when we make room for it in our lives. You don’t need to buy anything or subscribe to a particular philosophy or religion. Simply be still and know. It will take time and patience to clear your mind and to stop your brain from rushing. My speech professor at Furman University, Sara Lowery often quoted, “What a bleak world this would be – bleak and bare, if there were no time just to sit and stare.”
Keep learning
Resolve to learn at least one new thing every day. With the speed of knowledge today there is plenty to learn. Take advantage of bits and pieces of time to learn. Keep a book or magazine with you and read in those waits at the airport or the doctor’s office. Listen to your friends. Ask questions. Read the newspaper. Go to the library. Watch the news. My graduate students are among the younger generation that does not read newspapers. After a semester of being required to do so, most confess that they have not only enjoyed the assignment, but intend to keep up the practice after they leave my class. Take notes on ideas that interest you so that you can do further research later.
Listen Actively – Listening is much more than the absence of talking. Because you are not talking does not mean that you are listening. Listen with your entire body including your eyes. Listening is a skill. Develop it. It will serve you well. Many of us have developed the talent to look as if we are listening when in reality our minds are some place other than concentrating on the present. Stay with the speaker, the music. Experience the sensation that truly listening brings. Jesus said, “Those who have ears to hear, let them hear.” There is no way to remember what you did not listen to when it was presented. A taxi driver in New York City said, “I am not as smart as people think I am. I have learned to be an intellectual thief. I have learned to listen to everyone.” He has discovered one of the great secrets to a successful fulfilling life. Follow his example.
Tags: active listening, Jesus, Listen, New York
