Mitch Carnell » Mitch

“168 Ways to Communicate Better Now” – 1-2

Mitch — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 13:01:06 +0000

1. Act with integrity.

Always do the right thing.

When you lose your integrity, you lose everything.

Let your word be your bond.

2. Apologize.

Admit when you’re wrong.

Take the first step.

Allow the other person to save face.

168 Ways to Communicate Better Now

Mitch — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 15:21:33 +0000

Introduction

You can have better communication with family, friends, employers, employees, and coworkers today. One Hundred and Sixty Eight Ways to Communicate Better Now takes all of the guess work out of the process. There are no fancy formulas, no graduate degree vocabularies, and no magic potions. Just start putting one or more of the Ideas to work now!

Keep the book handy – on your commute, on the airplane, at the laundry, in the bathroom, by your easy chair, on your desk. Refer to it at the beginning and end of your day. Keep a tally as you learn new skills or rid yourself of unsuccessful behaviors.

If you truly want to have better communication with those around you, start practicing these simple but profound ideas today. You may feel awkward at first practicing your new skills but that will vanish as you succeed. You may get a few strange looks from those who know you best, but ask for their help. “I’m trying to improve the way I communicate with others; will you help me by gently signaling me when I get off track?”

You can go straight through the program taking each suggestion in order or you can select those suggestions that seem to give you the most trouble. Either way, if you tackle the suggestions you and your colleagues will be winners.

Words Are Powerful

Words are powerful weapons. Words are lethal. Words can kill. On those many occasions when I displeased my parents as I was growing up, a paddling was short-lived, but those tongue-lashings were designed to rip my heart out. “How could you worry your mother like that? What were you thinking about? Don’t you have any pride?”

Many issues have grown so complex in our society that we try to manage them by reducing them to a single word or phrase. We then attempt to pigeonhole people by putting one of those preconceived labels on them. We know that this is wrong and that we are committing an injustice against that person, but that doesn’t seem to stop us.

All of us know that words are continuously coming in or falling out of favor. People who must face the public regularly live in constant dread of using the inappropriate word. Today words must be politically correct. Words are powerful. “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” “I have a dream.”

Who among us has not been trapped or embarrassed by our own words? Remember the dramatic impact of those words, “Mission accomplished,” when they were first uttered? Those words were not used by President Obama when he addressed the nation to announce the end of American troops fighting in Iraq. Those two words became devastating words to the former administration.

We were driving home from church one Sunday when our children were still in elementary school. “Daddy,” Michael began, “Let’s eat out.”

“Michael,” I began. “We just ate out yesterday. We can’t eat out every day.”

“We can if we try,” he exclaimed. I heard my own words coming back at me. Not a comfortable feeling. “But you said,” is always a powerful and difficult statement to defend against.

In spite of all the problems inherit in choosing just the right word or perhaps more accurately avoiding the taboo word, words are wonderful things. Words delight the soul, warm the heart and fire the imagination. Think about how much time and care we put into choosing just the right names for our children. We want the names to be exactly right. The results are worth the efforts we make. We will reap great dividends if we take the same care in choosing the words we use in our conversations and public appearances.

Building Up Your Child

Mitch — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 03:27:42 +0000

Say Something Nice Day just got a big boost. The September issue of Home Life Magazine has a short but wonderful article on Ways to help children develop a stronger self-image, “18 Phrases to Build Up Your Child.” The author Michelle Medlock Adams does a great job of listing some important statements to use. “I believe in you. You’re fun to be with.” It is always important to be honest in what we say, but that doesn’t mean that we are to tear our children down in the name of honesty. I learned this the hard way after my son was grown. He told me,” Dad, you never told me that I did a great job cleaning my room. You always said, ‘It looks better. You’re getting there.’ You never said, Son, you did a great job!” I almost wept. My intentions were so good, but I missed the boat. I passed on to my son what my dad passed on to me. The very best I could ever get was, “It’ll do.” Let’s change the verbiage. There are countless opportunities for correction, but remember it is the behavior we want to improve. The article on the opposite by Gary Oliver offers some good advice on how to talk to your child.

Thankful Thursday – Ben Guerry

Mitch — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 05:01:46 +0000

On this Thankful Thursday I am thankful for my young friend, Ben Guerry. I have known Ben all of his life and have watched him grow into an intelligent, thoughtful, talented and creative young man. He is now a student at Clemson, too bad not Furman, but everyone is allowed one bad choice. This past summer he served an internship at the First Baptist Church of Clemson. I listened to the recording and was impressed with his ease and comfort with the text and with speaking. I have no idea what his final vocational choice will be, but the church would be greatly served by someone of his ability, honesty and intellectual curiosity. Ben has enjoyed growing up in a home filled with love for him, love of God and a heart for all of humanity. Ben gives me hope for the future of our nation, for our young people and for the church. Thank you, Ben.

Thankful Thursday is a special day to choose someone that you are thankful for and let her or him know what she or he means to your life. Send a note, make a telephone call or send an E-mail. You will be glad that you did.

Building Lasting Relationships

Mitch — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 15:19:43 +0000

All of life is relationships. Without a doubt the greatest destructive factor in any interpersonal relationship is a lack of trustworthiness. There is no way to dress it up.People who lie, shade the truth or tell only a half truth not only reveal a total lack of self-respect but demonstrate a lack of respect for other people as well. Trust is a cornerstone of any meaningful relationship. If you do not trust me there is no firm ground on which to build. The Bible calls this building your house on solid rock. In the story of the three little pigs, it is the house built of bricks. Lasting interpersonal relationships need both a firm foundation and solid building materials.

Protect Integrity – Key 52

Mitch — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 12:31:55 +0000

Your integrity is the most important thing you have. Protect it at all costs. When it is gone, it is almost impossible to retrieve. It is who you are. It goes before you and follows after you. You are the message. Your integrity is a precious possession. It takes a lifetime to develop and nurture, but only an instant to lose it. Remember it is far easier to maintain your integrity than it is to reclaim it. My father often said to me, “Son I can’t leave you much money, but I will leave you a name that you can be proud of.” He was right on both counts. I have never had to be ashamed of who I am or whose son I am. My fervent prayer is that my son and daughter will be able to say the same thing. A good name is a far better heritage than money. More money would be nice, but it pales in comparison to a good name. “The supreme quality for leadership is unguestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office.” Dwight David Eisenhower

Thankful Thursday – The Rev. Paul Pridgen Jr.

Mitch — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 15:29:08 +0000

On this Thankful Thursday I am thankful for my friend and mentor the Rev. Paul Pridgen Jr. Paul grew up the son of a well known fundamentalist preacher. He is proud of his father and all that he accomplished, but Paul has explored a different path and has influenced so many people. He helped found the Baptist/Catholic Dialogue and as pastor of the First Baptist Church of North Charleston brought needed health services into his church for the surrounding community. He is a tireless worker in fostering better racial relations. He continues to strive for the improvement of his city and county. Most of all he is a voice of reason in a climate of angry voices. Paul is respected by all who know him. He and his wonderful wife, Millie, make an unbeatable team. I am proud and thankful to call Paul Pridgen my friend. My only regret is that I didn’t get to know him long before I did.

Thankful Thursday is an opportunity to select someone who is meaningful in your life and tell him or her. Make a telephone call, send a card, send an E-mail or pay him or her a visit. You will be glad that you did. It is an easy way to say thank you. All of life is relationships. Appreciate those who have contributed to your life and pass the blessings forward.

Thankful Thursday – Suzanne Smith

Mitch — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 12:53:30 +0000

Today on this Thankful Thursday and every day I am thankful for my daughter, Suzanne. She has a birthday on Monday. I can still see us coming back from our walks which started out as tricycle rides on Rittner Drive in Baton Rouge. As we returned home I was carrying both Suzanne and the tricycle. Beelzebub, a ferocious dog, who lived around the corner, had driven us away with his fierce barking. We arrived in Charleston the day before her birthday and on her birthday we followed up an ad to get her a new kitten. Of course, there was the day that she and her mother picked up our brand new car from the dealership and Suzanne came to get me at work. She wrecked the car at Wesley drive. Thankfully she was not hurt. The car was a different story. She discovered her calling at USC in the Hotel, Restaurant and Tourism Program and is having a wonderful career first with Holiday Inns and now with the Marriott at Vanderbilt in Nashville. We have had wonderful trips to Ireland, the Culinary Institute of America, Hyde Park, the Norman Rockwell Museum, etc. She is also the mother of my first grandson, Christopher. I know that every father is proud of his daughter and I am no exception. I have a daughter who picks out the scrawniest Christmas tree because,”Daddy, no one else will buy it and it will be left here.” She has a heart that reaches out to everyone and I would not have it any other way. Happy birthday, Suzanne. Your Dad.

Thankful Thursday is a day to celebrate the contributions that someone has made to your life. Let her or him know how thankful you are. Send a card, make a telephone call or send an E-mail. Don’t let the day go by without doing it. You will be glad that you said thank you.

Embrace Risks – Key 51

Mitch — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 14:38:57 +0000

Nothing ventured; nothing gained. Take a chance. Push your boundaries. What do you have to lose? Get out of your box. Turn questions around. Put yourself in situations where your only option is to learn and grow. You will not learn or grow in your cozy den watching television. Ethel Barrymore said, “You must learn day by day, year by year to broaden your horizon. The more things you love, the more you are interested in, the more you enjoy, the more you are indignant about – the more you have left when anything happens.” She is right, but I would say that the more you practice these things, the greater your rewards resulting in a life well lived. When people come to the end of their earthly journey, the most frequent laments are about things they did not do not the things they did do. Let today be a day of new adventures both mentally and literally.

Thankful Thursday – Joyce Murray

Mitch — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 12:49:24 +0000

Joyce and I have been friends for so long that I dare not tell you the number of years; however, we were classmates at Furman University. After graduation we did not see each other again until I moved to Charleston and became close friends with her late husband Bennett. Joyce has a great sense of humor and a beautiful singing voice. She sings in the choir at First Baptist Church where she is an eighth generation member of the church. One of the hallmarks of our friendship is built on the respect we have for one another. Joyce and I don’t always agree on matters of politics and religious dogma, but that does not matter. She and Bennett were rocks when my wife died and she welcomed Carol with open arms and an open heart. I am thankful today for my friend, Joyce Murray. Yesterday was her birthday. If you missed it, call her up and sing to her.

Thankful Thursday is a day to select someone that you are thankful for and let him or her know it. Send a note or telephone her or him. You will be glad you did. It is not hard. Just say, I am thankful that you are part of my life.