Mitch Carnell

Effective Communication Made Simple

Archive for June, 2009

Christian Civility

Jun 19

Posted by Mitch in Publications

My new book  is scheduled to come out in approximately August of this year.  Some of the contributers are listed below. 

A few of the chapter titles have been set. They are as follows….

        .    Raushenbush – Foreword

  • Allen – Bringing People of Faith Together
  • Burleson – Christian Civility and the Internet
  • Carnell – The Power of Words
  • Dyck – Holy Conferencing
  • Gehring and Kelley – Civility for the Common Good
  • Mouw – Good Manners for Public Christians
  • Mckibbens – The Minister as Friend
  • Sauls – What We Need Is More Maturity

More will be posted as they become available.

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Say Something Nice; Be a Lifter

Jun 15

Posted by Mitch in Articles

Be a Lifter!

A “lifter” is someone who always finds something positive to say to every person he or she meets. Order Mitch’s booklet for tips to help you create your kind of world.

 

From The Summerville Journal Scene
Collins Mix 03/23/2005
By: Bill Collins – Publisher/Editor

Teaching people to communicate has been Mitch Carnell’s passion as well as his life’s work. And although he retired as President/CEO of Charleston Speech and Hearing Center he won’t let that commitment to better communication go.

Mitch has been troubled by what he sees is a decline in civility in our society. And Dr. Carnell is not alone in his concern over diminishing civility. He cites the recent decision of the South Carolina Supreme Court to require lawyers to sign an oath of civility and to take part in workshops to help them clean up their act. Imagine that. Will other professions follow suit?

I’m not certain what has led to the demise of politeness in today’s world. It’s easy to blame it on today’s television and movies where anyone can say anything about anyone.

Politics has a history of bringing out the mudslingers and the attack dogs but I don’t remember an election in my lifetime that was less civil than the 2004 Presidential campaign.

Then we have the lyrics in some of today’s music, lyrics that would not have been tolerated even a generation ago. Teenagers, young adults and even some older adults take these trashy tunes in stride.
Mitch Carnell wants to help bring civility back into our lives and our relationships with one another.

And recently he authored a paperback, small enough to fit into a coat pocket or purse, entitled, “Say Something Nice: Be a Lifter.”

This is a handy, alphabetized guide to delivering compliments to lift the spirits of others and there are scores of compliments in Mitch’s book. He cautions that compliments should be given sincerely and never include a negative rider.

“People always remember what comes after the but,” he adds. The booklets are $5 each for copies up to 10 and available at discounts after that for larger quantities. He’s also printed up some lapel buttons to reinforce the message – “Say Something Nice” – and – “Be a Lifter.” The books or buttons can be ordered at www.mitchcarnell.net.

Mitch Carnell recognizes the role that schools and grandparents play in children’s lives these days. “I want to get the booklet into schools and into the hands of grandparents. Grandparents have such a tremendous influence on their grandchildren and unlike most young parents, they have the time to spend with them,” Mitch said.

If you’re a grandparent or would just like to help teachers who work with our children and grandchildren every day, you might buy a few copies of Mitch’s book.

Say Something Nice Sunday is June 6, 2010
Join churches and organizations to celebrate!
Learn more on the First Baptist Church, Charleston, SC website

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Sweet Nothings

Jun 13

Posted by Mitch in Articles

Sweet nothings?

Posted by: marv in Role models, relationships, Gratitude, family, faith culture, communication, Christian living, Blessings on Jun 04, 2009  

Do you think you can go a whole day without saying something bad, mean or just plain tacky?

Take it a step further: Can you devote a whole day to saying nice things?

That’s the point of Say Something Nice Sunday, which is coming up this weekend, June 7.

The emphasis is based on Say Something Nice; Be a Lifter, a booklet written by Mitch Carnell, a Baptist layperson from Charleston, S.C.

Here’s a link to a story about Say Something Nice Sunday that was published this week by Associated Baptist Press , one of our New Voice Media partners.

Trying to be nice

I like the idea, and I’m going to try it this Sunday. Hey, it’s worth a try. 

People like me need to be reminded to say something nice. I’ve been called a perfectionist, which is not a compliment. I’m hard on myself and critical of my circumstances, and all too often that spills over into expecting too much from others and failure to appreciate them as I should.

Carnell points out that what you say shapes how you feel and, of course, how you interact with other people. So, saying something nice is a great way to not only improve your life but also to encourage others. And that’s not a bad goal for the first Sunday in June.

These people should try it, too

Of course, every idea has its detactors. One critic fretted that Say Something Nice Sunday could lead to a “gospel-free Sunday.” Horsehockey. 

Sure, we don’t want to forget about sin and its damning consequences. But one kind of sin is failure to see God’s grace—in other people, in God’s creation, in Bible study and worship at your church, in a summer Sunday afternoon.

So, go on. Spend Sunday saying something nice.

 

 

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Baptist Layman Promotes Say Something Nice Sunday

Jun 12

Posted by Mitch in Articles

CHARLESTON, S.C. (ABP) — For Mitch Carnell, the old adage – ”If you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything” — doesn’t go far enough. He wants people in churches this Sunday to actually say something nice.The church Carnell attends, the historic First Baptist Church of Charleston, S.C., is celebrating June 7 as its third annual Say Something Nice Sunday. The idea, based on a booklet Carnell wrote a few years ago, is for Christians to set aside for one day the conflict and discord that characterizes many churches and denominations and speak only words of encouragement and love.Carnell, a certified/licensed speech-language pathologist who leads workshops for businesses on improving communications and customer relations, came up with the idea after volunteering at the inner-city middle school where his wife was teaching in 2005. Helping students with their writing skills, he was struck by pervasive negativity among both students and teachers.

Say Something Nice Sunday, observed the first Sunday in June, is brainchild of Mitch Carnell, a member of First Baptist Church in Charleston, S.C.

Wanting to do something about it, he wrote a booklet titled Say Something Nice; Be a Lifter that he hoped would be used in public and private schools. That didn’t happen, but the city of North Charleston liked the book and bought copies for all its employees. The mayor of North Charleston declared June 1, 2006, the first Say Something Nice Day.

Seeing many Christian denominations at the same time on the brink of splintering over harsh rhetoric, Carnell talked to his pastor, Marshall Blalock, about the idea of having a Say Something Nice Sunday in churches. Blalock embraced the idea enthusiastically. From there it spread to Charleston Baptist Association and on to the South Carolina Baptist Convention, which adopted a resolution on “Unity in the Body” in 2007.

The Charleston Atlantic Presbytery of the Presbyterian Church (USA) joined the effort, along with several Methodist and Episcopal churches. This year, Carnell said, the Catholic Diocese of South Carolina and the South Carolina Christian Action Council have joined.

On June 3 Carnell asked the Southern Baptist Convention Resolutions Committee to draft a resolution encouraging churches “to designate the first Sunday in June of each year to emphasize Christ-like conversation.”

“The dream is to make it national,” Carnell said.

The First Baptist Church website offers resources for observing Say Something Nice Sunday. Suggestions include using it as an opportunity to recognize volunteers or honor church staff.

“We often forget how important a word of encouragement can be,” the website says. “The right word at the right time can work miracles.”

As a business consultant, Carnell has seen, up close, the power of words. In a 2006 newspaper article, he encouraged people to start the day by saying something nice to the first person they see because it can set the tone for the entire day.

“If the first person you meet in your day says something nice to you, you get a smile on your face,” he explained. “If the person says something ugly, you start out on a bad foot.”

Say Something Nice Sunday has been endorsed by Southern Baptist leaders including former Southern Baptist Convention president Frank Page and Jim Austin, current executive director of the South Carolina Baptist Convention.

The idea also has its critics, who say it waters down the gospel.

Donald Hank, a conservative activist and contributing columnist to WorldNetDaily.com, ridiculed the idea by comparing it to someone saying Adolf Hitler liked his dog, so he mustn’t have been all bad.

James Smith, editor of the Florida Baptist Witness, said in a 2008 editorial he hoped Say Something Nice Sunday wouldn’t spread to Florida and the Southern Baptist Convention, because churches using it might unwittingly be promoting a “Gospel Free Sunday” instead.

“A faithful pastor cannot preach the gospel to unbelievers, let alone exhort and, dare I say, rebuke, backslidden and unregenerate church members, while satisfying a politically correct standard of niceness,” Smith said. “This is the sort of niceness we could do with less of in our churches and nation.”

Undaunted by critics, Carnell said Say Something Nice Sunday isn’t about being “politically correct.” He believes it is consistent with words in the covenant of First Baptist Church in Charleston — “we will be careful to conduct ourselves with uprightness and integrity, and in a peaceful and friendly manner, toward mankind in general, and toward Christians of all descriptions, in particular” — that were adopted in 1791.

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Be Careful Little Mouth

Jun 12

Posted by Mitch in Articles

Be Careful Little Mouth - Thursday, June 04, 2009 Brian Kaylor from his blog – For God’s Sake Shut Up
Last month, the decades-long civil war in Sri Lanka showed signs of finally coming to an end. As the fighting ends, some have been reexamining the various factors that led to the conflict in hopes of understanding how to avoid such civil wars in the future. Several scholars argue that one important move involved language. Apparently, the government passed an act in 1956 making the language of one of the nation’s two main people groups the only official language of the nation. This move greatly disadvantaged the other ethnic group both in terms of education and economics. Two decades later, some members of the minority group began terrorist activities in hopes of gaining independence for their people. This historical insight in no way justifies decades of violence, but it does provide important reminders about the power of language.

On a much smaller scale, some Baptists are urging churches to consider the power of words. This Sunday will be the third annual “Say Something Nice Sunday.” The founder of the focus, Mitch Carnell, explained recently to The Baptist Courier that the day is to be a time “when no Christian will say anything bad about another Christian or Christian group or anyone else. It is to be a day of affirmation, a day which celebrates our unity in diversity.” The Web site of First Baptist Church of Charleston, South Carolina (www.fbcharleston.org) includes promotional materials for the day and additional explanations for why the focus is needed. The site explains that the focus is needed because “words are powerful. Words have the power to heal or wound. With our words we have the power to build up a Christian community or destroy it.”

The arguments offered by Carnell and other organizers are absolutely correct. Our words are powerful. Sadly, despite biblical admonitions to be careful about what we say, much of our church discourse is sometimes quite uncivil and even unChristlike. It is unfortunate that someone even thought we need something called “Say Something Nice Sunday.” What if Missouri Baptists decided to say something nice about each other? Even for just one Sunday that might be a fairly impressive feat. The slanderous charges that have often filled Missouri Baptist rhetoric over the past several years have pitted brothers and sisters in Christ against one another. It has also distracted us from what really matters and has hurt our witness with the many around us who desperately need to hear about the good news of Jesus. Rather than speaking the truth in love, it seems we too often resort to shouting the lies in hate.

It is long past time for the rhetoric to be toned down and for all Christians to be nice to our brothers and sisters in Christ. Let us work on being nicer to each other. Let us work on cooperating together for the sake of the Gospel. And let us focus on sharing the love of Jesus instead of being distracted by petty fights, legal conflicts, or power struggles. We need a return to Christian civility.

As children, we are taught many important life lessons through songs. One such biblical lesson is the one to “be careful little mouth what you say.” That wisdom we teach our children is one we also need to follow. Many of the inaccurate and hateful things that Missouri Baptist pastors have said about each other would get a child spanked or put in time-out for making such comments. So maybe we need a time-out of sorts this Sunday. Let us say something nice about each other this Sunday, and hopefully even the Sunday after that and the Sunday after that. For as that wise song reminds us:

For the Father up above
Is looking down in love
So, be careful little mouth what you say

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