The daughter of one of my best friends is a very successful model. She is an extremely attractive young lady, but she is also very friendly, out going and charming; however, this was not always the case. During elementary, middle and high school she was painfully shy. In addition to her shyness, she had a learning disability. She could answer almost any question orally for she always did her homework. She could not transfer that knowledge to the written page. Even today she still has some difficulty.

She was not lazy, stupid or willful as she was often labeled. She was a terribly shy child with a learning disorder that was never recognized by the educational establishment. She received training after she graduated high school at her own request. It was difficult for some people to believe that some one as attractive as she could have a problem?

What is the lesson to be learned from my young friend? Parents and professionals should not base their actions or lack of them on assumptions. Find out. Children are not just lazy or stubborn without cause. Often these symptoms mask a much deeper problem. Children often develop such behaviors in order to compensate for the problems that they have without knowing why they have them. If you or I have a problem we can successfully hide it, but children can’t.

If your child seems to be having more trouble in school than is consistent with what you know about him or her, find out why. Talk to the teacher. Don’t blame the teacher but enlist her or his help. You may need a referral to a school psychologist, speech language pathologist, audiologist or an ophthalmologist. Be persistent. Never accept an explanation that does not make good sense or that says he or she will grow out of it.

Charleston, Berkley and Dorchester counties are blessed with many excellent agencies and private practitioners. The school systems are legally obligated to provide needed assistance, but good educators want to do it.Give them a chance.